Oh United, Oh $#!% United, Oh oh oh oh oh Mo-re-no.

OK, in terms of game recap, let me stipulate the following: United lost to FC Dallas with a defense whose starboard leaked as though it were bound for Liverpool and had just taken a torpedo from Kapitänleutnant Walther Schwieger’s U-20. When United runs TV ads that say “It Takes More” they forget that the sentence ends with “…Talent than we have to win a game.” Forget Black and Red, United is the Black and Blue. We suck worse than the inevitable “Will Farrell as a Serious Dramatic Actor in a Bid to Win an Oscar” movie. Granted granted granted.

So let’s address the Jaime Moreno non-playing, non-captaincy issue.  Fullback and Landru are in 100% agreement, which is scary.  Fullback calls it “kicking a club legend in the teeth.”  Landru elaborates “He should’ve started, and worn the armband, and barring that, he absolutely should’ve been substituted into a losing effort. Seriously, Benny? Adam Cristman? Are you really that inept?”  BDR then, characteristically, upps the ante “St Benny of Olsen is either an asshole or a coward.”

So let’s sound the discordant note, shall we?  Starting Jaime Moreno would have been a gesture only, a gesture of respect that is deserved for the his service to United and to MLS as a whole.  But it would have had nothing to do with putting the best team on the field.  As good as Jaime is, and he still is good, it doesn’t change the fact that he isn’t what he was.  Jaime could have retired in glory in 2006 after a strong season and a Supporter’s Shield.  He could have retired in glory in 2007 with another Shield and the MLS all-time goal scoring record.   It would have been on his terms, and no one would have felt he was leaving us too soon.

But the fact is, Jaime needed to go at some point, and the longer it went on, the more United was tied up in Moreno, not in United.  I love Jaime.  He never won an MLS MVP Award, but they should rename that trophy for him.  But there needed to be a time when United and Moreno parted ways.  Let’s not forget, Etcheverry’s retirement in 2003 was considered overdue.  And it needed to happen for United to get beyond the mire it was in at the time.

So am I incensed that Olsen didn’t play him.  Nope.  It would have been nice, but I can’t honestly say right now that Olsen’s Best XI includes Moreno up-top as a starter (or even withdrawn, tucked behind Allsop or someone).  Given that United’s best scoring opportunities came not with possession in the middle, but possession in the flanks, it seems to be that tactically, against F.C. Dallas, Moreno may have made more sense on the bench.  It is a fair decision.

If the entire season goes by and there is no recognition of Moreno, then I can understand being incensed.  But in the first match, in Olsen’s first league match at RFK?  Just chill out people.  Your problem isn’t that Moreno isn’t starting, your problem is that United sucks.  Freaking out over Jaime may serve to distract you from the real systemic problems that this team has.  But the larger problems are the ones we should focus on, and evaluate Olsen as he tried to address.

New England Revolution 1 : 0 D.C. United

Or

Why United is Like Reading a Weekly Jobs Report

United is not a very good team, and perhaps that becomes most apparent as they fail to beat other teams that, well, aren’t particularly good.  The annoying thing is that if I wanted to strap on the rose colored glasses and talk about progress, and pride, and playing for the shirt, I could.  There is an argument to be made that United had better possession in this match than in most of the last five league matches, that they actually manufactured chances, that the team as a whole defended decently.  Of course, the fact that United wasn’t defending a Robbie Findley or Dane Richards who could torch the back line probably helped (No, Nyassi does not count as a speed demon.)  And the fact that the players were playing up for a new manager.  And the fact that New England is running out a team of subs and hacks.  And the fact that Shalrie Joseph is many things, but a great playmaker in the center is not one of them (He’s a hell of a good central mid, or holding mid, but he’s not a classical #10).

It’s as if we so desperately want things to be better that we imagine goodness all the time.  Even United’s official website has this problem (OK, this is probably a typo and not a case a Pravda, but still, and that’s my highlighting added)…

United's website indicated a nil nil draw, not a one-nil loss

See, everything looks better, until you remember that United is essentially graded on a curve this match, at which point everything is recolored to suck.  To pay off on the metaphor at the top of this post, it’s as if we were told “Good news!  The Economy lost only 20,000 jobs last week.”  See, we’re still losing jobs, but not as many, so that’s progress right?  Only the economy would have lost 120,000 jobs if not for temporary census work.  And industrial orders are down.

I want things to be better as well.  But I can’t say they’ve gotten there until United puts together some points in league matches.

QUICK UPDATE: The only possible reason for the existence of Adam Christman is for him to score garbage goals.  If he can’t do that, when presented multiple opportunities, then he needs to go.  In other words: Seconded.

Movement for the Sake of Movement: Good-bye Curt.

Curt Onalfo’s firing and temporary replacement by Ben Olsen is not going to change this season.  I am sorry that Curt, the choice the front office got rather than the choice the front office wanted, didn’t work out.  But can I see a show of hands of people who are surprised that a coach with a mediocre records at best with Kansas City combined with a team in pieces didn’t set the league on fire?  Yeah, me neither.

And Ben Olsen?  I love the man, I loved the player, and I do not envy his task.  This is not a good team, and it seems a shame that he becomes a head coach in a sort of glorified Richie Williams in New York sort of way.

But if there is one thing that gives me hope, it is perhaps the recognition from Kasper and Payne that things are dreadfully wrong in DC, and perhaps part of the fault is their own.   United may not break 18 points this season, but if this signals some thought that Kasper and Payne are rethinking their approach, then that at least is something to be glad of.

Attendence Smack

I am compelled to note that all we have left as United faithful is attendance smack.  And even that cuts both ways, perhaps as deep as Baltimore.

Im v. pro

Charles, you know I love you, but unless Najar is pressuring his teammates to give more the charity, I think you got the wrong verb.  Not that I should throw stones, but hey…

San Jose Earthquakes 1 : 1 D.C. United

This may no longer be a soccer specific blog, but it is a blog that will deal with soccer.  Think of it like RFK in that respect.  So let’s get back to writing about this team.

Yes, I’ve been following them this entire year, and yes, they are that bad.  Blame apportions out for this, but this is a fragile team at its optimum form.  Tino is breakable, Rodney Wallace is broken, and our back line is a shuffled deck of desperation.

To me, the most damning thing about this team is exemplified when Dave Johnson says “United is much better in possession with the introduction of Jaime Moreno” — and the word thing is, he’s right.  The philosophy of attack the first forty-five minutes was “Send ball to wing, send hopeful diagonal cross into box, concede possession, run back and defend.”  United did not even try to control the middle of the pitch until Moreno entered the match, even with Clyde Simms plaing a ridiculously high line.

How long has this team relied on Moreno?  How long have they looked to find an option to replace him?  For how long have they failed?

Coaching decisions, like bringing in Morsink earlier in the season, are one thing, but the simply fact is that United, by which I mean Kevin Payne, chose to change the philosophy of the team to be a 4-4-2 counter-attacking side as opposed to a fluid possession side.  There are reasons to think that’s a good idea, but other teams have been doing that longer, and with better personnel, for more than two years.  United isn’t good at it yet, and I worry that it is a stupid game to play.

The fact is, United seems to believe that United style football was no longer working, and so they adopted an MLS standard.  I concur that the days of Nowak’s 3-5-2 are long gone, but to play the same game as everyone else isn’t a solution.  At best you’ll make the game a toss-up, and at worst… Well, this season has been full of “at worst.”